


Chaste

by sweet_menace13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Supernatural Elements, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 13:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_menace13/pseuds/sweet_menace13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean work a case together when Castiel shows up unexpectedly.<br/>Chapter 4 rated MA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chaste

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 1-3 rated T, Chapter 4 rated MA  
> This is my first shot at writing fanfic so any comments would be helpful and appreciated. No beta used. All mistakes are mine. If you have seen part of this story before, it's because it was published before, screwed up (by me) then re-published. Please enjoy.

Chaste

Jophiel had been assigned to the task of getting Castiel set up in his new vessel and temporary living quarters, since this was Castiel’s first possession of an Earthly vessel and walking among humans. Castiel was given some very limited information about humans from Jophiel after making his pact with his vessel, Jimmy.

Jimmy was a true believer, so devout that it upset his wife to the point that he was forced to seek psychiatric care, and was put on anti-psychotic medication. He had a loving wife and daughter, and a whole other life, but his faith was such that he was truly a devout man and follower of the Lord, first and foremost, and a true and willing vessel and tool of God. Jimmy looked a bit like a mussed up tax accountant with his slightly loosened tie, and his brown hair a bit ruffled, but his heart and faith were in the right place - the only place that mattered to God. He was overjoyed to become a vessel.

***

Sam was diligently researching the old books on angel lore that Bobby loaned him and his brother, so much so that he barely noticed Dean in the motel room until Dean started complaining about being uncomfortable and bored.

“Try sitting your ass down at the table on one of these chairs and start researching with me for once, then you’ll know what discomfort is. My ass is probably calloused by now.”

Dean groaned with disinterest and cringed at the image of Sam‘s calloused ass in his head.

These books held some heavy duty beliefs, traditions, religious and otherwise about angels, and none of it was exactly light reading. Dean’s interests didn’t lie in the research for the job so much as the adrenaline rush of the hunt. He preferred that Sam took lead of the research, and besides he thought Sam was better at it, and much more diligent and meticulous than Dean.

Dean lay on top of his bed with his eyes closed and pictured his first terrifying meeting with the powerful new arrival, Castiel, the man that called himself “an angel of the Lord“. He would never admit the terror, however. He never believed in anything that he could not eventually see in some form, with his own eyes, or kill, for that matter. Guns and knives were both useless on Castiel. He could not kill him, or could he? _What was this creature?_ Did he want to kill him? _What did “God” want to do with me anyway?  Since when does something good happen to me, of all people? What gives with all this God stuff ?_ Dean wasn’t about to start believing in things he could not figure out how to kill.

Dean certainly rose from the dead and returned from hell in one piece, all but for the handprint that appeared to be seared into his shoulder. He had no explanation for escaping hell in one piece. The handprint scar had created some unknown bond between Dean and the angel that neither was aware of.

Could he believe Castiel’s words? What else could he be but an angel? He was shown his wings, and was told that God commanded Castiel to raise Dean from perdition because he had some work for him to do. What was all this crazy crap? Could he somehow himself become a believer? Sam had no problem accepting that angels existed, and Dean considered him to be a very sharp guy.

To Dean, there was something in Castiel’s searing blue eyes that made him want to trust his outrageous claims. A kind of naïveté that was surprising, and that made Dean want to believe his words. He’d seen so much and so many other supernatural creatures as a hunter that he felt drawn to Castiel because Castiel was a new “creature” to him, or so he thought. _Is it possible? Is it really a God thing? Can there be such things as angels, wings and all?_

Hecould see and sense Castiel’s confusion at Dean’s fear and lack of faith,.They could not take their eyes off of each other. The innocence he sensed had quelled some of Dean’s fear of the latest supernatural being to come into his life.  

He opened his eyes and turned to find a “Magic Fingers” sign by the bed and smiled to himself while digging around desperately in his pockets for quarters.

“Now here’s some research I can handle right now,” he said as he quickly and excitedly dropped his quarters into the machine.

***                        

 _This place hasn’t been refurbished since the 70’s,_ Jophiel, the angel thought to himself disgustedly as both he and Castiel looked around the cheap motel room of the Greenwood Motor Inn. Jophiel was dressed neatly in a fine suit and overcoat in the style of the current day.

“Ah, a television…. This will pretty much… bring you up to date on what’s been going on in the human’s neck of the woods, as they say,” Jophiel said as he turned on the tv and tossed the remote to Castiel.

“What is this device?”

Castiel was a bit clumsy in his new vessel and had nearly dropped the remote control.

“It’s a remote. A remote control device for the television you see there,” Jophiel explained simply and as plainly as possible as he pointed at the tv. “Lots of pretty pictures of humans, Castiel. Have at it.”

Mesmerized, Castiel sat on the edge of the queen sized bed and stared at the tv screen.

“Television! And humans!” he said excitedly as he experimented with the buttons on the remote control. “So these are humans in their natural environment?”

“More or less.. Well, not exactly, but it’s close enough for our little quickie lesson on humans,“ Jophiel replied, suddenly anxious to leave. “And with that, I leave you to sort it out on your own.” he added and disappeared.

Castiel flipped from channel to channel, taking in as much information as he could. His eyes were wide with surprise. _What is this? So much violence. So much pain. I don’t understand God’s love for these creatures._ Violence and pain weren’t all that he saw once he figured out how to use the remote and switch on the pay-per-view movie channels. _They sound like they’re in pain but they seem to be taking pleasure from these acts? Clearly, I need to study humans further._

Castiel had already had his first meeting or run-in with Dean, the human that he’d raised from perdition by command of God. He could not understand this man’s reactions toward him and was disappointed at first, then bewildered that one of God’s favorite creatures appeared confused and angry. Castiel also noted the fear and disbelief in the beautiful green eyes he’d looked into when he announced that he was an angel of the Lord. If this man, Dean, could believe in all sorts of other creatures, then why could he not accept the existence of angels, and that God had ordered his soldier, Castiel, to raise him from perdition? Why could he not quickly accept that since demons exist, than so must angels also exist?

He switched off the television to be able to think more clearly, and began rummaging around in his vessel’s pockets. A wad of paper money and some credit cards were stuffed in the billfold under the name of  his vessel. He was relieved at the reception desk earlier when Jophiel had slipped the wallet out of his pocket to pay for the room with a credit card, so Castiel could see how it was used at a motel. It turned out that Jimmy was completely anal about debt, so he was in none, and only kept the credit cards for dire emergencies.

Castiel could not understand why Dean was terrified, confused, and even tried to kill him. Dean had even told him that he did not believe that angels existed. The young man showed no faith at all. This confounded Castiel, as did the defensive attitude that Dean took toward him. He did not understand the fear that gave itself away in Dean’s eyes.

He’d sensed a few other things about Dean when they first met, after Dean tried to kill him, especially his strengths, but also his self-loathing and lack of belief that good things happen. Dean was raised as a warrior, a hunter, and probably learned by example that fear is a weakness. Also, Dean didn’t believe he deserved to be saved from hell, body and soul. It was those things that both made Castiel a little sad and perplexed, but also drawn to him in some way that he did not even begin to understand other than a feeling that he needed to help protect the human. Emotions were not something that angels of his sort were too familiar with, especially one that had just taken possession of his vessel hours earlier.

Castiel had had enough of the tv, and grabbed his key and trench coat. There was no food or drink in the motel room. He had been experiencing hunger and Jophiel mentioned to him that there was an all-night café less than a mile down the road from the motel.

***

Dean was staring at a small crack in the ceiling when he turned his head and saw the “Magic Fingers” sign again while his bed vibrated. _Genius, these things_. He’d had just enough quarters to get at least one good massage out of the “Magic Fingers” bed, which was exactly the same as the bed that was across the room from his own. 

Sam gave Dean a disapproving and disgusted look, but with a hint of jealously.

“Ah… Nothing like those Magic Fingers, Sammy. You ought to live a little and take the ride for yourself,” Dean suggested, smiling, his green eyes sparkling with delight. “See, Sam, you just gotta let go and let the fingers do their walking. That‘s when the real magic happens.”

“Those things are as cheesy as the burgers you shovel in your face, Dean.“

“You just gotta learn to have a little fun sometimes, Sam. Live a little! You remember the concept of fun, don’t you, Sammy?”

Sam looked at Dean with a disapproving look.

Just then, the “”Magic Fingers” used up the last of Dean’s change and the bed stopped vibrating. Dean sat up and looked at Sam with puppy dog eyes.

“What a rip off! You got any spare quarters, Sam? Please?”

“I’m not even going to check, because I wouldn’t waste my good money on that kind of crap.”

“Oh, come on. There’s nothing to do here. Nothing on tv and we certainly can’t watch porn together. Pretty please, Sammy?”

“Forget it, Dean, I’m going back to my research on these angels, like you should be doing,” Sam said and shook his head.

“I’m bored with that. Speaking of cheeseburgers… I like your style, Sam. Cheeseburger it is. Want anything?”

“No, there’s a coffee machine just down the way, near the reception office.”

“You drink that and you call the “Magic Fingers” a waste of money?”

Dean grabbed his keys and brown leather jacket and headed for the door.

“Catch ya later, Sam. You put ideas into my head. I’m after that cheeseburger now, and maybe… some pie!”

Sam watched as Dean shut the door behind him, once again, shaking his head in disgust.

***

Castiel was nearly at the café as he walked along the side of the road, enjoying the cool, clear night and the spectacle of the moon and stars. He gazed at the sky with wonder. _What beauty my Father has created for these humans._ Seeing through human eyes was different from that of an angel. Passing traffic blew a cool breeze past him that carried the scent of what he suspected was food cooking away at the cafe. He stomach growled.

“Hot Blooded” was playing on the radio in Dean’s car as he pulled up and stopped at the trucker’s café. He was singing along while bobbing his head and parking. Dean turned off the ignition after he parked the car.

“I’m hot blooded! Hot blooded!“ he sang to himself.

He checked his reflection in the rear view mirror and saw something he neither wanted to see, nor expected: A figure walking toward the café dressed in a trench coat.

His stomach felt funny suddenly, so he put on a confident “fuck you” look and thought about which weapons to even bother to bring with him. He remembered that it was pointless to try to arm himself, but he still had the handy demon-killing knife slipped it into its leather sheath on his belt. _Never show ‘’em any weakness, Dean, besides, it can’t be_ him _, can it? And what the fuck does he want now?_

He got out of the Impala and slammed the door shut.

“Hello, Dean Winchester,” he heard just before entering the café, and quickly turned around.

Oh crap. It is him.

“Oh, hey, uh… Wings… sans Mc Cartney,“ Dean replied sarcastically.

“You may call me Castiel,” the angel responded quietly. “You _are_ still thinking about what we spoke of earlier, are you not?”

“You know, it’s not exactly as if I’m hard up and unemployed at the moment, I’ve… I’ve got a pretty stable job already, in case anybody didn’t notice,” he announced skyward. “You know, saving people? Killing things? I can’t just drop a sweet gig like this and take on another major job. So what if it doesn’t have a health insurance plan!” Dean sighed heavily. _Who’s supposed to be listening anyway, dumbass? “_ Hey, Castiel, maybe you could get a message to your boss?”

“I’m glad you’re still thinking about your new work, but I must ask a small favor of you just now, Dean Winchester. I’m feeling hungry and I have never been to a place such as this. Could you please help me? I would be most grateful.”

“You can call me Dean,” he said, and suddenly, surprisingly, his fear left him and his stomach even felt a little better. Dean sighed again. “C’mon, just… follow me in,” he said as he looked Castiel up and down and shook his head at Castiel’s clothes and speech.

Castiel followed closely behind, being unaware of the concept of “personal space”. Dean, feeling uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed at having Castiel‘s side pressed against his, put a little more space between the two of them as he stood at the counter. He looked around, grabbed a menu and shoved it into Castiel’s.

“Here. This’ll keep you busy,“ he said, noticing how warm Castiel‘s hand was as he accidentally brushed his own hand against it. 

Castiel took the menu and began to peruse it. His blue eyes grew wide and he looked overwhelmed as he held the sticky menu.

“You look kinda like a salad sort of guy. Maybe even organic vegan!” Dean assessed Castiel, finding himself looking a little too deeply into his blue eyes.

Castiel’s stomach did a flip, and was confused by Dean‘s remark, “I do not know those words. I’m just hungry, Dean” 

The waiter, an older man of about retirement age stepped up to the cashier’s counter and asked, “What you boys be wantin’ tonight?“

The old man’s greasy salt-and-pepper hair was slicked-back and shone from the lights above, at least what wasn’t covered by his white and orange paper hat.

Dean stepped up to the counter and said confidently, “Two cheeseburgers with everything and make that to go.”

The waiter took the order and money that Dean had paid him immediately.

“Won’t be too long,” he said as he walked away with the order slip in his wrinkled, age-spotted hand.

Dean looked over at Castiel, still staring at the oversized menu.

“Oh, I forgot to ask you ‘for here or to go?’ How’d you get here anyway? Did you _fly_? Boy, your wings must be tired.” He couldn’t help but throw in the disgustingly cheesy joke.

Castiel was unaffected by the remark about his wings.

“I walked here from a nearby motel that I’m staying at. It is a room with a television,” Castiel answered apprehensively. He didn’t really like to reveal his whereabouts to just anyone, but Dean Winchester wasn’t just anyone, according to his Father.

“Great,” Dean interrupted sarcastically. “At least I can give you a lift back.” He rolled his eyes, but then realized he could be doing his own kind of research and finding out more about his new acquaintance. “Now let me see.. A television, eh? Sounds pretty swanky to me. Would that happen to be at the luxurious Greenwood Motor Inn?”

“That would be most convenient, Yes, that is the name of the motel. ‘Swanky’? It will serve its purpose if that is what you mean, “ He answered distractedly, “It’s such a beautiful night, don’t you think? I enjoyed the walk here…The sky…”

Dean looked out and up at the sky. _You know… he’ s right. Stop and smell the roses and all that. You‘ve just had your ass yanked out of hell._ He gave Castiel a half-smile.

“Yeah… I guess so,” Dean interrupted

The old waiter appeared again at the counter with Dean’s order and Dean quickly exited the café, leaving Castiel tagging behind. Castiel managed to get into the Impala without any assistance, even though Dean had stuffed the bag of food into one of Castiel’s hands. This was Castiel’s first ride in a car.

“So where exactly are you staying, Castiel?” Dean asked before Castiel could have a chance to find out where he and Sam were staying. He wanted more information about Castiel “How about I join you for dinner?” Dean asked.

“I’m in room number 226, and yes, you may join me for dinner.“

“How convenient,“ Dean said, “I mean, it’s so close by,“ neglecting to tell Castiel that he and Sam were staying in the very same motel, only on the first floor corner unit.

The drive back to the motel was fairly quick and silent, although Dean and Castiel exchanged glances several times. Neither of them knew what to make of that. Dean felt butterflies in his stomach, but he figured that was one of the effects of being in the presence of an angel, if he wasindeed an angel. That’s what he _wanted_ to think for now.

Dean parked the Impala several doors down from the room in which he and Sam were staying.

The room looked nearly the same as their own, Dean noticed as he popped his head through the doorway first, looking around for anything suspicious. He found nothing and went in, seating himself comfortably on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. Castiel brought the bag in and set it on the table near Dean, to the side of his dirty boots.

“Yeah, great place you got here, Cas,“ Dean said, “He said as he began unloading their burgers from the bag. “One for you and one for me,” he said and handed Castiel a cheeseburger.

Castiel tipped his head to the side for a moment at the name “Cas”, as he seated himself closely next to Dean on the couch .

“My name is Castiel, not Cas,“ he said matter-of-factly.

“No offense there, man,“ Dean said grabbing his burger out of the bag, quickly unwrapping it.

He felt trapped because Castiel had seated himself a little too closely to him for his comfort, but there was nowhere to go. Castiel had sat so closely that their thighs would occasionally meet. He immediately started to nervously stuff his face with the cheeseburger, as was his habit. 

“No offense taken, Dean.”

Castiel watched Dean and ate almost as greedily as him, partly taking direction from him and partly overwhelmed by the delicious food he finally had.

“So how’s that meat suit working out for you, Cas?”

“Castiel,“ he corrected Dean, “It is a _vessel_ , and it seems to be working just fine, but I’m troubled, Dean.”

“What, no owner‘s manual come with it?” Dean asked sarcastically.

“Well, it is not the vessel, that troubles me, Dean, but some of the things I saw on the television. I saw a lot of things on the television that disturbed me and confused me and…”

“Whoa! Whoa! I’m not going there! I’m especially not explaining that pay-per-view business! You‘re on your own there!”

“It is not what you think, but I understand, Dean. I am sorry if I offended you.”

“I’m not offended, I just gotta go, Dean said a little nervously. “Research, you know. I need to help Sam out with research on a case. We’ve got just a ton of books to get through. Really, I should be going.“

Dean wanted to stay, but not to be _explaining porn to an “angel of the Lord“, for chrissakes_ , he just wanted to observe this new creature on his own turf for a little while, though it wasn’t only the pay-per-view business that unnerved him. He almost felt as if he were on a first date. He put the remainder of his burger down on the coffee table.

He didn’t need to be in fear for his life. According to this Castiel character, he had literally risen from the grave and fallen into favor with God, believer or not, but something else just nagged at him. It was something in Castiel’s eyes and he felt that weird connection again, but he just didn’t want to go there now.

“As you wish, Dean. I will show you to the door,” Castiel said as he got up slowly and walked toward the door, looking more often at his feet than the door.

This confused Dean. This was all confusing to Dean. He wanted to run and he wanted to stay and find out more. He was torn and his stomach was churning.

“Will we be seeing you again soon?” Dean asked sincerely as he stood just outside the door. He made sure to use the word “we”.

“Yes, you will be seeing me again very soon, Dean,“ Castiel said as he looked directly and deeply into Dean’s green eyes.

Time seemed to stop or move in slow motion, and Dean suddenly found himself a moment later, in front of a closed door, blinking, his long lashes fluttering with the number 226 appearing before him. He realized then that he‘d received something he‘d certainly never had before, nor ever expected:  a very chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth from Castiel. 

He now stared at the number 226 on the closed door before him.

He kissed me?! Castiel?! An angel?! Does this count as another man?! Oh, hell yes, it does! Holy crap! I guess I shouldn’t think that. Or should I? Am I being spied on right now?

And with the chaos in his head, he quickly turned on his heel, and ran down the hallway toward the stairs, holding his flushed and burning cheeks with his hot hands.

　


	2. Sometimes Good Things Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean work a case when Castiel suddenly shows up.

Sometimes Good Things Happen

Three days ago…

An attractive, dark-haired woman, in her early 30’s sat at her desk in her new work cubicle working on her computer. Cecilia had only been at the job for two few weeks and still felt pressured to make a good impression. She was just finishing up another case, closed it, and put the file in her outbox for a signature and final review by the office manager

“Hey, Cecilia, got anything for me today?” A tall, bleached-blond woman said as she stood by Cecilia’s cubicle opening, one hand on her hip. She had a large latte in her other hand.

“Oh. Hi, Natalie,“ she replied reluctantly. “Just working on another case.“

“Great, then you do have something for me,“ Natalie said happily, while reaching into Cecilia’s outbox and grabbing the file that was just completed. “Good job! “ she said condescendingly, smiling as she walked away with the file. Cecilia could do nothing to prove the case was her work and sighed in disgust and gave her a dirty look behind her back as she walked away. She clenched her fists.

Natalie hand-delivered the file to the office manager, Mike Owens, who happened to be on his way back into the office from a late lunch. He was a tall, good-looking man of about 35, and could be seen down the hallway by Cecilia. She had poked her head out of her cubicle for a moment, and saw Natalie handing the completed case file to the office manager with a big smile on her face. Cecilia frowned and gritted her teeth.

 _I hate that Natalie chick! She’s going to make me lose my damn job!_ Cecilia thought to herself. _I hate her. I hate her! Bleached-blond bitch!_

Cecilia took the opportunity to sneak into Natalie’s cubicle and rifled through Natalie’s handbag while Natalie was smiling away and doing her dirty deed. She was openly and shamelessly flirting with the office manager, Mike Owens, which was a habit of hers.

***

Dean held his hands to his burning face until he came to a stop at the stairs leading down to the ground floor rooms. He tried to compose himself before making it to the front door of their room, where Sam would be waiting and would certainly question him if he arrived in his current state.

 _Stop shaking_. _Calm down! Calm down, for fucks sake!_ He thought as he slowly descended the stairs, one by one.

He didn’t want to attract any attention from Sam, and it was just a tad too early for him to be in bed already. He did look quite tired, though, before Dean left. He didn’t want Sam asking any questions because he didn’t want to feel like he had to lie to him about what happened. He just didn’t feel it was the right time to get into any discussions about… such strange occurrences. Dean didn’t like the idea of lying to Sam, but he certainly didn’t want to explain why he was so flustered and freaked out.

When he opened the door to their room, Sam was still hunkered over and too immersed in an old book to notice when Dean came quietly through the door. He had a beer in one hand and was turning a page with the other. When he finally noticed Dean, he yawned and looked over at him.

“Wow, you slipped in here quietly. I should have been on my guard. Did you find your happy meal out there?” he asked sleepily.

“Uh, yeah, I ate it on the way back,” he replied nervously, feigning a yawn, stretching and wondering if he was visibly shaking. 

“Well, I‘m having a shower before bed,” Sam announced, shutting his book, and sucking down the rest of his beer. “I can’t focus on those books any longer tonight.“

Sam walked toward the bathroom..

“I - I’m just goin' straight to bed,” Dean answered. “I’m _really_ tired. I can barely keep my eyes open,” he said as he took a swig of whiskey from his flask.

“Well, that’ll knock you out,“ Sam said as he pointed to the flask. “See ya in the morning then, ” he said. He shut the bathroom door behind him..

Dean stripped down to his t-shirt and shorts, and crawled into bed, sliding the pearl-handled pistol under his pillow. He pulled the covers up all the way to his neck, while curling up into the fetal position. He felt a less shaky and vulnerable. He wondered if he was being “watched over“.

 _Nah_ … he thought to himself. _Good things happen? Since when, and what the hell?! Or heaven? An angel?  They’re myths, right? He kissed me, for crying out loud_ ” _Good God, can’t anything in this world be “normal” for us for just a little while?_

He reached up and lightly touched the spot that was kissed by the angel. He wondered what possessed Castiel to kiss him, and why not full on the mouth, if he was going to go for it.

Sam came out of the bathroom and crawled into bed without a word, because Dean was feigning sleep. Prior to getting into bed, he had made sure that one of the altered shotguns was at his side on the floor, loaded and ready for action.

They both fell asleep around the same time. During the night, Dean tossed and turned in his sleep while listening to Sam’s low snores and snuffles.

Dean awoke in the night, sat up, and pulled off the blankets, while pulling the sheet up to his neck. He closed his eyes and drifted off to the thought of what Castiel said, “Sometimes good things happen.”. He soon fell asleep again.

He tossed and turned in his sleep, even checking twice for his gun under his pillow. He woke up again.

Sure, he's nice looking, but I don't swing that way, do I? Did I? Does half a kiss count? Oh Jesus.

What was most confusing to Dean was that he realized he enjoyed the kiss, but freaked out as he was in shock. He had never been kissed by another man before, and certainly he'd never even thought such a thing could happen. He didn't know angels had to take possession of a human “meat suit” to walk the earth, that Castiel was more or less a man, as far as he knew.

Why wasn't I repulsed?

He thought to himself.

It felt like there was a literal spark of electricity between them. To remember it now, he could feel his heart racing with excitement and curiosity about both himself and Castiel. To be honest with himself, he wondered what Sam would think of him and Castiel's little parting gift. He tried to remember whether he instinctively closed his eyes or not as he was kissed, and felt kind of silly at the thought.

He knew that there was no doubt that there was an attraction on Castiel's side, but how did he feel about Castiel? They really only met recently, but he felt inexplicably drawn to him. He had never felt drawn to another man like this. He had never felt drawn to _anyone_ like he was drawn to Castiel, not even Lisa.

_Am I supposed to feel drawn to him? What is he? Is he like my guardian angel or something? Is he watching over me, and in what sense? Can he see me now in my skivvies and t-shirt?_

Suddenly Dean felt exposed, even though he was in bed under the sheet.

_Nah, he's not watching me now. I gotta have some privacy, don't I? I have to admit that I am attracted to Castiel in some weird way. In a man-on-man action way? Hell, I don't know about that._

When he thought about it again, the kiss was a pleasant surprise, but a major shock to his senses. He still felt affected by the kiss - sort of vaguely tingly all over, but mostly the spot where Castiel kissed him. He allowed himself to feel happy for a few moments.

After about ten minutes of silence Dean said, "Sam? You awake?"

“Yeah, I am now. What's up?"

"You wouldn't disown me if I suddenly started batting for the other team, would you?"

"Of course not! Why in the world would you ask a question like that?" Sam asked, completely thrown off his guard.

"Oh, I don't know, I just have a lot of weird thoughts running around in my head at night. G'night!" Dean said hurriedly, turning away from Sam and curling up into the fetal position again.

"G'night... Freak," Sam replied then was silent again.

What the hell?! Sometimes he's so weird, but who am I to talk?

Sam thought to himself.

Sam pulled the covers up to his chest and put his hands behind his head. He closed his eyes.

***

Natalie smiled to herself as she sat on the couch, lounging in her living room with a glass of white wine when she heard the doorbell ring.

She got up, set her glass down on the coffee table, and padded over to the front door in her slippers. She looked through the peephole. There was no one there, it seemed.

 _Probably some neighborhood kids._ She thought as she opened the door.

There were no neighborhood kids to be found when Natalie opened the door. She was pounced upon by a creature that went straight for her throat with its big, fang-like teeth. It literally tore the life out of her by the throat. Natalie made some gurgling noises as she breathed her last breath, her blood bubbling up over her pink lips. Blood gushed from her throat, staining her clothes and the carpet around her body. The beast stepped back and looked at the body for a moment, then turned and disappeared into the darkness of night through the open front door.

***

In the morning, Dean awoke and lifted his head, looking around the room. Sam was gone. He got up, dressed, and peeped out the window. Baby was still there and the sun was shining rather brightly. He squinted. 

So where did Sam go? For an early breakfast without me? How could he go without me?

He saw that Sam's bags were packed and ready for the road. Dean quickly washed up, brushed his teeth, then packed his few belongings.

He then headed up to Castiel's room and preened himself a bit at the door. He had no idea what he was going to say or do, having acted completely on impulse. Dean was nearly out of breath as he had run up the stairs to Castiel’s room. He wanted to see Castiel before Sam returned.

He stared at the number on the door for a moment before knocking four times. No one came to the door. Dean started to feel anxious and self-conscious suddenly, wondering what the hell he would say. He knocked again. Still no answer. No one was there. Castiel was gone.

"Damn it! Damn it!" he cursed.

_Now how the hell am I supposed to get in touch with him?_

He turned around and headed back to his room, grabbed the packed bags and loaded up the car. Dean sat on his bed and waited impatiently for Sam. He had a few swigs of whiskey from his flask while wondering about both Sam and Castiel. He felt he needed the drink.

Sam soon returned with bags of food from the café up the road. Dean had noticed the logo on the bags.

"I got us some breakfast. I walked up to the cafe. The weather’s nice out there. Here," he said as he handed a cup of coffee and a bag to Dean. "You're in luck. They have a 24-hour menu, so you get a cheeseburger for breakfast."

Dean was not as excited as Sam hoped he would be. He was a bit sulky due to Castiel's disappearance.

 _Oh well, I don't know what the hell I would have said to him anyway._ Dean thought _._

"Thanks," he said, taking the food off Sam's hands. "A cheeseburger will do me fine."

"Oh, and one more thing," Sam said as he handed Dean a small bag. "A little surprise. Apple pie. They said it was home made."

Dean took the bag, "Thanks. For once you didn't forget the pie!" He said jokingly.

Sam and Dean sat on the couch and wolfed down their food. Sam had a "breakfast burrito”.

"I hope to God that doesn't have beans in it," Dean said.

"Nope. You're in luck today. No “toxic Sam” to ride with."

"Good news. Good news. So what’s going on in this freaky world today? Where are we off to? What’s on the schedule for today?"

"Hang on. Too many questions. Well, I admit I got a bit tired of the angel lore from Bobby, so I started scanning regional newspapers on the internet. I came across something else here in one of the nearby local papers. ‘Animal Attack on Woman‘. I think maybe it’s worth checking out.“

“Werewolf, you think? Where did this attack happen?”

“Anaconda, Montana. That‘s about…” Sam looked at a map and calculated the time it would take to drive there. “19 hours away. They‘re saying ‘unidentified animal‘.”

“We’re going to have to make only one stop then. Not too bad. If not a werewolf, then what?”

“We’ll find out soon enough, Sam said. “Let‘s go.” Sam said.

 

***

Cecilia was working diligently and carefully on her current case when she was called into her office manager’s private office.

“Good morning, Mike,” Cecilia said as she shut the door to the office.

“I’d say the same, Cecilia, but since one of our best employees is gone now, you’ve got to take up the slack until we hire someone new,” he said coldly as he moved closer to Cecilia, invading her personal space a bit.

 _He seems to have no heart_. Cecilia thought to herself. _But I need this damn job._

“Why don’t you join me for a private chat tonight so we can work some things out in a more comfortable atmosphere,” Mike said. “You’re on my team, aren’t you, Cecilia?”

“I guess I - I mean, I can do that,” she answered nervously. She had noticed before that he seemed to be looking at her at the office a little bit more than he should, and his gaze sometimes lingered a little too long, making her very uncomfortable. She felt it was very unprofessional behavior and knew what he was after. She told herself again that she needed this job.

“Great!. Be at my place at 8pm Here’s the address,” he said, handing her his business card, with his home address written on the back.

Cecilia walked briskly to the door, dreading what she may have to deal with later on tonight.

“See you later, Mike,” Cecilia said dully and closed the door behind her.

 

***

It was nearly 8pm on the dot when the doorbell rang at Mike’s house. He promptly opened the door and was attacked. He was bitten on the throat by a creature with big, sharp teeth and big claws. It tore at his face with its claws. Mike’s neck was chewed up so badly that he bled to death. The beast licked its chops and cleaned itself off with its tongue before leaving the scene through the open front door.

 

***

Sam and Dean had been guests at the Grizzly Den Motel in Anaconda for a few hours. They had both had plenty of time to shower, shave, and change into their “costumes”, consisting of a white shirt, tie, jacket, and real trousers.

“Have you seen the paper this morning, Dean?”

“Nope. What’s up?”

“Another alleged animal attack right here in Anaconda. Same type of wounds and all, it sounds like.”

“Shall we take a trip down to the coroner’s?”

“Yeah, for the fun part of the job.”

“You’re sick, Sam.”

“Well, it is interesting, don’t you think?”

Shaking his head, Dean ignored Sam’s question and headed out to the car, Sam followed closely behind.

 

***

At the Anaconda City/Deer Lodge County Coroner’s office, Sam and Dean showed up posing as FBI agents interested in the cases of the two mutilated bodies of the victims of alleged animal attacks.

“So what’s the interest the FBI has in these murders?” the lone coroner’s assistant asked, a young man of about 25.

“That’s classified information, mister?” Dean asked

“Ron Schwartz. Oh, sorry,” the assistant answered.

“All we can say is similar MO in a case in another state,” Sam answered.

“Can we have a few minutes alone with the bodies, Ronnie?” Dean asked.

“Sure. Of course! I’ll leave you to it,” Ron Schwartz answered and left the room.

Sam lifted the sheets off of each body, one woman and one man, then folded them over their chests. He examined the wounds on both necks and the claw marks on the face of the man’s body.

It was Dean’s turn to examine the bodies.

“He might be considered an attractive guy if he didn’t have those claw marks across his face,” Dean said. “He’d have to have a pulse as well, of course.

Sam gave Dean a strange look.

“I mean, she doesn’t look so bad in death either, is what I’m tryin’ to say, geez,” Dean explained.

“Whatever, Dean,” Sam said. “These wounds look like they’ve been made by some pretty big fangs.”

“Werewolf, you think?” Dean asked

“I don’t think a werewolf could make marks like these., Plus those scratch marks across that man’s face…” he said as he pointed out the scratches, “Looks like a big cat scratch.”

“Cat scratch fever?” Dean asked. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. So you think it’s some kind of big cat. No animals reported missing from any zoo around here, and there are no reports of big cats in this immediate area, as far as I know.”

“And I can’t think of any kind of big cats that a person would actually let into their house. In both cases, there was no sign of break in, according to the police reports. Also, both victims worked at the same insurance company - Sterling Life Insurance.”

“And there are no coincidences, “ Dean said. “Let’s pay a visit to the second victim’s house and this Sterling Life.”

“Yeah, I’m with you on that.”

 

***

They arrived at the second victim’s previously immaculate home. It was taped off with crime scene tape, but no sign of the law was around to question their presence. They searched the nice rambler-style home, but found nothing unusual, no sign of break-in or intrusion of any kind, just big, bloody pools on the carpet where the attack had taken place and the body had been.

They decided to give the front yard a quick going over when Dean came across something a bit shiny in the grass. He bent over and picked up what turned out to be a piece of a pendant.

“Found something. Some kind of pendant or charm. Here. Have a look,” Dean said as he handed the piece of leather cord with the attached pendant over to Sam.

“Looks like one of those signs or symbols of a Mesoamerican language, or one of those symbols on one of those famous Mayan or Aztec calendars.”

“Smartypants, how did you know that?”

“Well, to tell the truth, I was a little worried about the Mayan calendar/end of the world thing and did some research on it.” Sam admitted. “You know how it is.”

“Yeah,” Dean replied.

Dean looked around at the cars parked on the street and saw one speed off and disappear.

“Nice car. Looked like a 68 Cougar to me. Big cat, ” Dean noted.

“Well, I guess we were being watched. Too late to catch up now. Let’s get this back to the motel and do some research.”

They headed back to the Grizzly Den Motel as Sam continued to examine the pendant while riding in the car.

 

***

Back at the motel, Sam powered up his laptop and began researching.

About a half hour later he said, “It’s a Nahual, a symbol that represents an animal spirit. This particular one is a jaguar. A person’s Nahual is like a guardian. This person’s guardian was - or is - the jaguar. According to some myths a person can change themselves into their Nahual. I think we’re dealing with a type of Mesoamerican skin-walker.”

“Skin-walker. Ok how do we kill this kind?”

“One myth says you can kill it with arrow that has a golden arrowhead, ” Sam said disappointedly.

“Great. Where are we going to find one of those? Or some of those, since neither of us is a champion archer.“

“We’ll have to improvise. I’m thinking a golden bullet. While searching online, I found a place in Deer Lodge, not far from here, right outside Anaconda, that actually sells them.”

“Well, let’s head out there then,” Dean said gruffly.

“Right afterward, we’ll pay that little visit to Sterling Life Insurance Company and ask some questions of some of those employees.”

 

***

Despite the recent alleged animal attacks, it was business as usual at Sterling Life Insurance Company. A supervisor in Cecilia’s section had been promoted to office manager temporarily to fill Mike Owens’ position.

Sam and Dean arrived under the guise of FBI Special Agents again, but this time they were asked for ID by the new office manager, Karen Smith, a short, plump red-haired woman in her 50’s. The employees of Sterling Life wore name badges.

“So, Ms Smith - can I call you Karen?” Dean asked, smiling his sweetest smile. “Could you tell me a bit about either or both of  the victims?”

They were in luck. Karen Smith loved juicy gossip.

“Well, I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead,” she half-whispered, but those two weren’t exactly well-liked. There were rumors going around that Natalie would steal and claim the work of others. And Mike was worse than your average cad to some of the ladies here, especially to one named Cecilia Aragon, and she hated his guts,” Karen said.

“Thank you, Karen. I think that’s all we’ll need from you for now,” Sam said.

Sam and Dean looked at each other as Karen walked away.

“Disgruntled employee?” They both asked as the same time.

Sam and Dean both went looking for Cecilia Aragon’s cubicle or Cecilia herself. Sam was able to find her busy working in her cubicle.

“Cecilia Aragon?” Sam asked.

“That’s what the fancy name tag says,” Cecilia answered lightheartedly.

Sam called out to Dean and waved him over before showing the broken pendant to Cecilia.

“Does this look familiar to you?” Sam asked.

“Oh yes, of course. That’s the pendant that I lost not too long ago! I can’t remember when exactly. Where on earth did you find it?” Cecilia asked nervously.

“On Mike Owen’s front lawn, under a tree,” Dean said.

Cecilia suddenly looked stunned.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with us,” Sam said.

“We want to take you down to the station and ask some more questions, if you don’t mind,” Dean said.

“I - I guess that’s ok. Let me just give my boss a quick text,” Cecilia said, texting a quick message to Karen Smith on her phone. She then left the office willingly with Sam and Dean.

As soon as they got across the street to the car, Dean grabbed Cecilia’s wrists, pulled them behind her, and slapped on a pair of handcuffs, Sam quickly looked around the vicinity, then opened the door to the back seat. Dean shoved Cecilia in.

“I’m not under arrest, am I?! You said you were just going to ask me some more questions!”

“Yeah, well, those questions are going to be asked in handcuffs, lady,” Dean said. “Think of them as a matching pair of bracelets, even though they don’t quite match your jaguar pendant.”

Sam and Dean both got into the car, and they headed for a warehouse they found earlier out on Jefferson Street. It was a fairly deserted, run-down area.

“We’re not going to the police station, are we,” Cecilia said.

Sam and Dean exchanged glances but said nothing.

When they arrived, they pulled up to the empty warehouse and slowly began to lead Cecilia inside. As they passed through the doorway Cecilia had slid out of her clothes and cuffs and ran inside the warehouse, transformed into her Nahual, the jaguar, and seemed to disappear into the darkness.

“Oops,” Dean said. “Cuffs?! I should have used rope! Damn it!”

“Well, we’ve each got 6 shots between us,” Sam said. “I maxed out the last good card we had just to buy these.”

“Let’s just hope it _works_ ,” Dean said.

 _We’re screwed_. Sam and Dean both thought and stepped back into the daylight.

They both took their ties off and stuffed them in their pockets before pulling out their pistols and flashlights and gingerly re-entering the warehouse. They split up and began to search the first floor, which was virtually empty apart from some old, rusty office furniture.

Sam thinks he’s seen a shadow and movement, takes a shot and misses.

Dean also sees some movement and takes a shot at it. Nothing.

They meet up at the stairs and begin to climb up, Dean taking the lead and Sam covering the rear. Flashlights moved this way and that, though they still saw nothing.

Sam took another step up the staircase and hit a rotting board. He fell with one leg partially in the rotting hole, and was stuck.

“Damn it!” Sam yelled.

“You all right Sammy?”

“I’m kind of stuck. Just keep going!”

“I saw some more movement, Sam. You still got your weapon?” Dean asked as he shone his flashlight before him, hitting a spot on the dingy wall, gun trained at the same spot.

“Yeah! Just go on and get it!”

“I’m going up then!” Dean called out as he slowly and carefully moved up the rest of the staircase and throughout the second floor.

All was eerily silent on the second floor until he heard a low growling noise behind him. He spun around and took a shot, but barely missed his target, and the beast pounced upon his chest. It clawed his left shoulder, tore his jacket and shirt, and drew blood  Dean put his hands up to shield his face. Just before the jaguar could take its first bite at Dean’s exposed throat, Castiel appeared and stabbed the jaguar in the right side with an angel blade.

The jaguar fell lifelessly on top of Dean’s chest and stomach. He pushed it up and off of him. He  was stained red from the blood of the jaguar at the site of his wound as his shirt was nearly drenched from the stabbing. The scent of animal blood was in the air.

“Castiel?!”

Castiel smiled and put out a hand to help Dean up. He pulled him back up on his feet. Dean suddenly felt lightheaded with butterflies in his stomach. 

“You are not badly wounded?” Castiel asked as he looked Dean over while standing before him.

“No, I’m fine! Thanks!” Dean said as he kissed Castiel full on the mouth, surprising both himself and Castiel.

He immediately felt that electricity again, moving through his whole body. It almost made him ache for more.

“You are welcome,” he said with some surprise in his voice, pleased with the unexpected kiss. 

He smiled at Dean, but his smile turned to a frown when he saw Dean’s torn jacket, shirt, and wound. Castiel laid his hand on Dean’s shoulder for a moment, and a healing light force healed his wounded shoulder. Dean watched, totally amazed, as he was completely healed and left unscarred.

“Dean!” Sam called out from the staircase. “DEAN!” he roared.

Dean ran to the sound of Sam’s voice. He found that he was still stuck in the staircase.

Castiel appeared and pulled Sam out of the broken staircase with one hand. Sam seemed to be fine as he dusted himself off and looked from Dean to Castiel, and back at Dean.

Sam and Dean stepped down around the hole in the stairs to get to the bottom floor. Castiel disappeared and reappeared at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for the boys.


	3. Chapter 3

There You Are

 

“Oh hey, you must be Castiel. G-good to meet you,” Sam said nervously.

  _I think_. He thought to himself.

He didn’t trust Castiel at first, just like anybody else he’d met.

“Hello Sam Winchester,” Castiel said. “How is you leg?”

“Sam. The leg is fine. Just a scrape. I got lucky, I guess.” Sam replied.

“That - that healing thing you did with my shoulder - how did you do that?” Asked Dean.

“It’s just one of the abilities that I have as an angel of the Lord,” Castiel answered.

“Well, that sure could come in handy,” Dean said.

 _Holy crap! The power to heal!_ Dean thought to himself.

“You have the power to heal?” Sam asked Castiel.

“Yes. I healed your brother’s wound,” Castiel answered

“He does, Sam! Look! See? Smooth as a baby’s ass!” Dean said to Sam, showing him the spot where the wound had been.

Sam raised his eyebrows at the sight of the smooth skin, torn jacket and shirt. He was still a bit more than a little wary of Castiel and his powers, whatever else they may be.

“So which one of us gets to dig the grave?” Sam asked Dean.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” He asked.

Sam nodded his head.

“OK, 1, 2, 3, go!” Dean said as he slammed his right fist into his left palm. “Damn it! How does paper beat a rock anyway,” He grumbled as he walked toward the stairs to get the body of the dead jaguar.

 _Sucker._ Sam thought to himself.

Sam had made the sign for paper with a smile on his face. Dean almost always made the sign for a rock. He was getting predictable in that way. He stepped aside for Dean.

Dean was about to take a careful step up the stairs when Castiel disappeared and reappeared with the limp body of the jaguar.

Dean turned around and said, “Oh, thanks. Those stairs really weren’t a good idea, were they.”

“No, those stairs are dangerous,” said Castiel as he handed the dead jaguar over to Dean.

All three walked back outside the warehouse, where the sun was setting. They headed for the car. Dean set the body down, and it changed into that of an attractive Hispanic woman.

Sam respectfully laid his jacket on top of the woman’s body to cover her nakedness.

Dean opened the trunk and pulled out a shovel while he looked around for a good spot to bury the woman. Sam carried the woman for him. Dean decided on the east side of the building, where there was a bit of shrubbery for some cover. With all the practice he’d had, he was very skilled with a shovel and buried the woman quickly, scraping and kicking top soil from the surrounding area onto the top of the grave with his boot.

Dean wiped his brow with the back of his right hand as he tossed the shovel back into the trunk of the car. He dusted himself off with both hands.

“I could use a beer about now,” Dean said.

“I’m with you on that,” Sam said.

“Let’s head to a motel and change,” Dean said. “You coming with, Cas?”

“Yes, I would like to join you, if you don’t mind. I’ve never had a beer,” Castiel answered.

“You riding with us or doing that angel disappearing act?” Dean asked.

“I will ride with you,” Castiel said.

They all got into the car and Castiel slid into the back seat by himself. Sam shut the door for him, and they headed off back to find a new motel.

It began to grow dark outside so Dean turned on his lights. His driving made Castiel a little nervous.

“First time in a car, Cas?” Sam asked.

“Yes. I had no need for one, as you have discovered,” Castiel replied.

Dean started up the car and they were off down the street in moments. He headed north for the I-90B to Deer Lodge. Soon they passed the Budget Inn Deer Lodge.

Dean pulled up to the liquor store just down the road from the motel and picked up a half rack of beer, then made their way back to the Budget Inn Deer Lodge.

He pulled through the drive-thru office, and Sam got out of the car to take care of business. He returned to the car dangling a pair of keys before him, and got back into the Impala.

“Number 605, right on the corner, bottom floor,” Sam said.

“They got a fridge?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, and I made sure they had pay-per-view too, just for you,” Sam said jokingly.

Castiel remembered his previous confusing experience of television.

They made their way to the room and Sam stuffed the fridge full of beer. Dean put the leftovers on the kitchenette table and went into the bathroom to change his clothes. Sam changed in the bathroom also when Dean was finished.

Dean motioned for everyone to grab a beer. Dean popped the top off of Castiel’s bottle for him and said, ”A toast to dead jaguars and reappearing angels.”

Sam and Dean raised their bottles, as did Castiel, after he figured out what was going on, and said, ”Cheers,” Sam and Dean said together.

“Cheers,” Castiel added before his first sip of his beer.

He decided he liked the taste of this new drink and the way it was making him feel, as he was really guzzling it down.

On his fourth, he said, “I think I should sit down now.”

“I think you should, too,” Sam said, and helped Castiel to one of the kitchenette chairs.

Sam and Dean were still working on their second beers, while Castiel appeared to start to get drunk.

“Whoa, I think you better slow down there, Cas,” Dean said.

“This is definitely something new,“ Sam said as Dean helped Castiel sit down. “A drunken angel!” he said, laughing.

“My head feels… strangely,” Castiel said.

“How about we get you some fresh air,” Dean said as he led Castiel out into the night air and shut the door behind him.

They walked to the side of the building.

“How about a kiss from you again?” Castiel asked, leaning up against the building’s wall at the side of the room.

 _No one will see us over here_. Dean thought as he looked around. _Should I? He’s been drinking._

“Just one then,” Dean said excitedly and was on Castiel’s mouth in a flash. Castiel returned the kiss, deeply, and they shared it for a few desperate moments.

“You’ve been drinking. It’s not really fair to you,” Dean said as he pulled away, breathless, holding on to Castiel’s upper arms.

Castiel lowered his head in disappointment, but said, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to try to influence you to do something that may not feel right to you.”

Dean let go of Castiel and joined him against the wall, side by side.

“This isn’t… normal for me, but something about it… There’s just something about you that makes me feel-” Dean was saying when Sam came upon them.

“Is he OK?” Sam asked.

“He’ll be fine,” Dean said.

“Yes, I’m all right. I just got a little carried away. The feeling is so… nice,” Castiel said. “I like it.”

“Yeah, maybe just a little too much this time,” Sam said. “Why don’t you guys come back inside and lay him down for a bit?”

“Good idea,” Dean replied, helping Castiel along, back into the room and on top of one of the queen-sized beds.

Dean helped Castiel sit up on the bed to take off his trench coat and jacket, then took off his tie for him and put it on the bedside table. Sam helped him out of his shoes, and placed them beside the bed. Castiel lay back on the pillow, closed his eyes and felt the room sort of slowly spinning.

“The bed almost feels like it’s spinning,” Castiel said.

“Uh oh,” Sam said, “You know what usually follows that. Go grab the garbage can and set it by the bed.”

“He’ll be fine,” Dean said. “I mean, if he can heal me, shouldn’t he be able to heal himself?” He asked as he picked up the garbage can and set it down next to the bedside table.

“I will be just fine,” Castiel said happily, his eyes closed, rolling onto his side.

He breathed quietly and slowly, and seemed to be drifting off.

“I think he’s asleep,” Sam said. “Well, that’s your bed now,” he announced.

“Gee, thanks. Well, he’s not a perve anyway, he’s an angel, right? I’m sure angels keep their hands to themselves just fine. I’m not worried about it,” Dean said nervously.

Sam laughed at him.

Dean pulled the bedspread from one side to the other to cover up Castiel.

“There. I’m safe. Happy?” Dean asked.

Sam just laughed at him again and shook his head. He put his empty beer bottle back into the box it came in and pulled out a full one to drink.

“I’m just teasing you, jerk,” Sam said.

“Bitch,” Dean replied, opening another beer, giving Sam the evil eye, suddenly feeling exposed.

Sam plopped himself down on one end of the couch. Dean followed, but sat on the opposite side.

“I never thought we’d be babysitting a drunken angel,” Sam said.

“Ya think I did?” Dean asked and shook his head. “And I thought I’d seen just about everything.”

He took a swig of beer.

“Yeah,” Sam said, “Me too,” copying Dean.

Sam finished off his beer and set the bottle on the table.

“I guess I’m gonna hit the sack a little early,” Sam said.

Dean scratched his head and frowned. He wasn’t quite ready to reveal his secret attraction to Castiel just yet. Things were awkward enough already, so he thought he’d just leave things at that for now. Awkward.

“’Night, Sam.”

“’Night, Dean,” he said with a little smirk.

Sam stripped down to his shorts and headed for the bathroom. Afterward, he returned and crawled into the other empty bed. He then turned off the light on the bedside table, between the beds. Sam turned away from Dean and Castiel, and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

Dean would have been sitting in total darkness if it wasn’t for the corner lamp, which actually had several lamps attached to the center pole. Only one bulb was working, and the light was dim.

_Oh what the hell. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. It’s only sleeping near each other, for chrissakes!_

Dean took off his boots and jeans, tossing the jeans on the couch. His socks went flying in the same general direction. He then wriggled out of his shirt and hung it on the bedpost.

He slowly slid into bed, trying not to wake Castiel, who by then was making little huffing noises as he breathed in his sleep. Unable to help himself, Dean carefully ran his fingers through Castiel’s thick, tousled hair, then finally rested his head on his pillow. His body was turned toward Castiel so he could watch him as he fell asleep himself.

 _An angel asleep on my bed. Unbelievable._ He thought as sleep came.

During the night, Castiel woke up, completely sober, and a little surprised at his surroundings. He turned carefully over to his side and saw Dean sleeping in the same bed. The clock on the bedside table ticked softly. Castiel touched Dean’s slightly stubbly cheek. He got up and dressed while watching Dean sleep, ran his hand lightly over Dean’s head and disappeared.

In the morning Dean woke up to the sun peeking through a hole in a curtain. After seeing Sam he saw no sign of Castiel, just Sam, cleaning up the mess they made the previous night. Sam himself was already washed up and dressed.

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know. I guess he disappeared early this morning or last night.” Sam replied.

_Damn! Why does he pop in and out like that?_

Dean thought to himself. He was a little angry and disappointed.

Dean grabbed some fresh clothes and made for the shower. Afterward, he came out still feeling a little disappointed.

“You think angels get hangovers?” Dean asked as he sat down at the kitchenette table.

“Probably not if he’s got those crazy healing powers, right?” Sam replied.

“Hmmm… You’re probably right,” Dean said, wondering where and why Castiel had gone without a word.

“I’m going out for a while. I need a little “alone time.” I’ll be back by 2 o’clock. All right?”

“Fine by me. Just bring me some lunch on your way back,” Sam called out as Dean left the room.

***

Dean headed north on the I-90B until he got to a place called Little Joe Park and pulled over. He got out of the car and began to walk in the park until he found a nice clearing of thick, green grass. It was a tempting, perfect spot to do some thinking and take an afternoon nap, so he took off his jacket and rolled it up for a makeshift pillow. Then he lay down on the cool, thick grass and rested his head on his jacket. He scanned the perimeter for any sign of movement or other life. Nothing.

Dean closed his eyes. Moments later he was in a light state of sleep.

Castiel appeared, unbeknownst to Dean. He watched him for a few minutes before Dean’s whole body jerked himself awake.

Dean realized he was being watched and went for his pearl-handled pistol before seeing a familiar trench coat. He stopped.

“Cas! Don’t sneak up on me like that! It’s creepy!” Dean wailed.

“Oh. I see. I’m sorry,“ Castiel apologized. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“It’s a free country, last I heard.”

Castiel took his trench coat off and folded it up. He lay on the grass next to Dean, and used it for a pillow.

There was an awkward silence as they lay on their backs, side by side.

Dean turned over onto his right side and looked at Castiel.

“I - I was trying to tell you something the other night when we were drinking,” Dean said quietly. “Well, we weren’t drinking at that moment.”

“What did you wish to tell me?” Castiel asked.

“That this - whatever this is - isn’t normal for me,”

“What’s normal for you?”

“Women. Getting to know a them _really well_ , but on a first-name-only basis. You know, sleeping around? One-night-stands?”

“One-night-stands,” Castiel repeated. “I’m not familiar with that expression.”

“I don’t have the time to get to know someone. Hell, I don’t even have an address! I’ve normally just slept with people and walked away.”

“Is that a one-night-stand?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Dean answered.

“And by ‘slept’ with someone you mean you’ve had intimate knowledge of them?”

“What?! Oh, yeah, you know… intercourse and such.”

“Yes, I know what intercourse is.”

“Good. I didn’t want to have to explain ‘the birds and the bees’ to a grown… man.”

“Birds and bees? I already know of many species of birds and bees,”

“It’s another _expression,_ Cas,” Dean informed Castiel, frustrated with the situation.

“Oh. I am not very good with expressions yet.”

“I noticed,” Dean grumbled.

Castiel turned on his left side, facing Dean. He looked deeply into Deans green eyes, and at his long lashes. 

“You are frustrated,” Castiel said.

“You’re frustrating,” Dean admitted as he leaned forward and quickly kissed Castiel, but pulled away quickly. “I don’t know exactly what I’m doin’ here, Cas.”

“I do not understand. You were just kissing me. Is that wrong for you?" Castiel asked.

“I don’t know what’s ‘right’ for me now,” Dean said, sighed, and rolled  over on his back. “I feel like… if I don’t take the opportunity when it arises with you, that you may just disappear and I’ll never know when you’re coming back.”

“I see. I have more duties than you are aware of, but I do not know when I will be available to see you.”

“I… I feel drawn to you, it’s true, but I’m afraid to invest my feelings in you. You’re not a woman, not that I even have that kinda time and room in my life for a woman, but you’re not even human, for chrissakes.”

“That is true, but I am still a being that is learning he has feelings and thoughts that he has never had before taking this vessel. I am a being that is experiencing all kinds of new things,” Castiel said. “May I ask you something, Dean?”

“Sure. What is it,” he answered nervously.

“Is it normal to have a funny feeling in my stomach when you kiss me or I kiss you?” Castiel asked.

“I don’t know if it’s normal, but it’s flattering to me, if it’s a good feeling,” Dean answered.

“It is a good feeling. A feeling of excitement and exhilaration. I was left breathless the time you kissed me before.”

Dean blushed and ran a hand over his face. He could feel his cheek burning again, but this time he didn’t want to run. He wanted more.

He turned to Castiel, who was still lying on his side, and softly kissed him again. Castiel returned the kiss, and soon they were kissing and holding on to each other, rolling in the thick, cool grass.

Suddenly Dean found himself underneath Castiel when he felt Castiel’s weight quickly dissipate, and he disappeared again. His trench coat was missing too. There was no sign of him.

“Damn it, Cas!” Dean yelled loud enough for the whole park to hear.

　

　

　

　


	4. A Boy Named Sioux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel appears to Dean again and they share their feelings. Rated MA.

A Boy Named Sioux

 

Sioux Falls, SD

Appearing behind him, Castiel unfolded his arms, waiting for Dean to notice that he had returned to him. Dean’s back was to him, and he was bent over, halfway in the car, unpacking and pulling out one of his duffel bags.

Dean felt a presence behind him, reached for his knife, turned to see what or who was behind him and bumped his head on the ceiling of the car. A man in a trench coat was immediately visible.

“Damn it, Cas!” he said as he dropped his bag and put his knife away. “I told you not to sneak up on me like that!“

“I am sorry. I did not mean to startle you,” Castiel said.

“Well, next time you may get the knife or get yourself shot,” Dean said.

“You know those things won’t harm me physically,” said Castiel.

“Yeah, but it might make _me_ feel better for a few moments,” Dean said irritably.

The Impala was parked out in front of the Happy Rest Motel in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It was situated on North Cliff Avenue, across the street from a large cemetery in the northern part of town.

Dean rubbed his head over the spot that he bumped in the car. He sneered at Castiel as he went back in to grab his bag. He was in no mood for anything or anyone, due to the fact that he and Sam received reports of a possible haunting, but had nothing to go on yet. He tossed his bag onto the bed in their room and shut the door, leaving Sam inside.

“I missed you, you son-of-a-bitch,” Dean said irritably.

“I missed you, too.”

Dean planted a quick kiss on Castiel’s lips, then only looked around to see if there was anyone about that might see. The only person in the vicinity was the chubby mousey, cleaning woman pushing her cart across the balcony of the third floor. The parking lot was empty but for the two of them.

“We’re lucky that no one saw us,” said Dean, a little angry at himself for being so reckless.

“I am sorry for disappearing on you, but I have to follow my father’s orders.”

“Yeah, I know, but he does have some interesting timing,” Dean said suspiciously.

Both Dean and Castiel leaned casually against the Impala.

“Come take a ride with me,” Dean said impetuously, almost ordering Castiel.

They both got into the Impala and Dean drove west, headed for Falls Park. He didn’t want to be around anyone else, so when they got close to the public park, he took a turn that brought them to a place called the Queen Bee Mill Ruins. There was no one in sight. The weather wasn't great. It was cloudy, and it looked like rain was coming.

“Get into the back seat?” Dean asked Castiel.

He was confused but compliant, got into the back seat and sat before Dean came in. Dean got in and lay his head in Castiel’s lap. Castiel slowly ran the fingers of his right hand  through Dean’s spiky hair, down to the nape of his neck, and down into his collar, to Dean’s delight. He felt the heat emanating from his warm body up through his collar. He started at his temple and moved slowly through Dean’s hair. Castiel cradled his head in his lap with his left hand. Castiel was a bit more than inexperienced, and was a little awkward, like a child with his favorite pet, but Dean didn’t mind in the least. He just enjoyed the caresses for what they were, pure affection from his angel, enjoying a stolen, undisturbed moment together.  Dean lay with his eyes closed as did Castiel, also enjoying the sensations.

Dean sat up after a while, as he was beginning to fall asleep on Castiel’s lap. He turned to Castiel and kissed him fully on the mouth. Castiel reciprocated his gentle kiss.

Dean stopped and asked, “Are you sure this is OK with you?”

“Are you sure you are OK with this?” Castiel replied.

“I don’t feel like I know what’s right or wrong for me now that you’ve come along and literally saved me,” Dean admitted. “All I know is that it feels right, and your dad hasn’t struck us down dead yet. It’s my head that’s having trouble accepting this. My heart, on the other hand, feels reckless, overjoyed, and like I ought to lay off the cheeseburgers, because I’m going to have a heart attack.”

“The area between right and wrong seems to be becoming a more gray area for me,” Castiel explained. “I feel that if I was doing something wrong, that my father would surely let me know, but now that I am in this vessel and sort of human, I wonder if he is giving me some free will like that of man.”

“My free will is telling me to take you forcefully, but not against your will, of course.” Dean said.

That was all Castel needed to hear before they started kissing again in between undressing each other as quickly as possible, there in the back seat of the Impala. They were like eager, desperate teenagers. Raindrops began to fall on the car, and the glass of the car started to quickly fog up with condensation.

Dean scanned the area before he spit into his palm, rubbed it on himself and entered Castiel with a gasp. They both gasped at nearly the same time. He couldn’t help but pump away as fast as he could out of lust, desperation and fear that the angel would disappear. He came within a few thrusts and more gasps. Castiel had been masturbating as hard and fast as he was getting it from Dean and came moments later with a few grunts. Castiel cleaned himself up with tissue from his trench coat pocket, as did Dean. Dean pulled his jeans up over his slightly sweaty shorts.

They continued to finish dressing themselves when Dean leaned over for another kiss. It was quick, but soft and Castiel was realizing he was falling for Dean. He hoped he didn’t have to mean it in the literal sense. He wanted to be obedient and to do what was right. Castiel wanted to at least try, but he didn’t know if he’d been given free will like his father did to man.

Castiel was very troubled by this and wanted to speak to another angel about it, but who could he trust?

“I must go, Dean,” he said sadly.

“At least you’ve given me fair warning this time,” Dean said as Castiel disappeared before his eyes.


End file.
